Original post made on July 31, 2006. 

So, after taking an early evening "nap" last night, I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me.  I watched my "best of Friends Season 1" dvd in its entirety for the second night in a row, and then made it all the way through the dvd from the Garth Ltd. Edition box set.  All the while my mind was wooooooorking and wooooooorking.

Lately I've really gotten into this standup comedy stuff.  I mean, who doesn't love to laugh, right?  I got out my dad's Blue Collar Tour dvd a few weeks ago and watched that about eight times, and today while in Best Buy (to get a microphone!  woo!) I picked up a Dane Cook cd/dvd.  I didn't actually realize it was a dvd until after I had made the purchase, at which point I went "woooo!  dvdeeeee!" because I am ALWAYS looking for random things to entertain me while all other media centers in the house are occupied.  And they often are.  Anyway, I've really become a Dane Cook fan lately.  I've had a few friends over the past few months that have just sung his praises.  My friend Tyler sat me down in front of his fireplace one night (because he knew if he lit the fireplace there was no way I was leavin...) and popped in the Dane Cook dvd.  That was my first Dane experience.  I was intrigued.  So when I came home for the summer and discovered Dane's "Tourgasm" on HBO I was like, "Hey, let's try this on for size, huh?"  And the more I watched the more and more addicted I became.  It's actually very very inspiring... he's always talking about how he wants to be this rock star... have a rock star show and have rock star status... and he makes me realize that I don't just want to be a singer, I wanna be a stand up too!  I mean... the singing comes first, definitely, but the way he entertains people on stage... I want to have that.  I am always watching live shows, whether actually live or televised or whatever, and just observing and dissecting EVERYTHING to see what works, what doesn't, things I would be able to pull off and things that really just aren't me.  Watching the Garth dvd last night, Dane started to come to me.  It was a little strange, and you can call me psycho if you wanna, but it's true.  I'd also been listening and singing along with Reba earlier that day and thinking about which songs I've always wanted to do in my live show, whether or not I recorded them.  Getting Garth back out the same night made me think....

"Do you remember the weird things you used to think as a child?  I mean, just the things that make no sense, and yet because you have this young innocent mind, they just make sense to you?  For instance, I used to think trees made the wind.  No, there was no big mean cloud with scrunched up eyes and a little round mouth blowing the trees over like they were trick birthday candles that just wouldn't blow out.  Oh no.  The trees waved and tossed about by themselves and that is why the air blew sand in my eyes.  Damn trees.  Yeah.  When I was four or five years old, I fell in love with country music.  I did.  I remember how old I was and I remember who my first favorite artists were, and I remember which cds were the first I ever heard.  Want to hear the great part?  My two favorites were Reba and Garth.  And I thought they were married.  Yeah.  Wanna know why my little five year old mind thought they were married?  Because their cds sat next to each other on my daddy's shelf.  It never failed.  If I wanted one of those cds, all I had to do was open that cabinet door, and there they were, right next to each other.  It was fate.  They were in love..... I guess all I have to say about that is I hope that someday, when I have a few cds out, I hope on some little girl's daddy's shelf, my cds sit right next to Dierks Bentley's.  Hey.  At least then we can be married in some alternate universe, right?"

I mean, I have no idea how funny that actually is.  In my head at 3:00 in the morning it seemed entertaining.  I said "I'm gonna blog that so I have it forever!"  And here I am writing it going... well... yeah but... hmm....

But the thing is, being on stage, whether you're a singer or a guitar player or a comedian means entertaining people.  It doesn't matter how big your range is or how fast your fingers move or how funny you're jokes are, if you stand up there and you don't deliver in a creative way, you won't entertain people and they won't pay for your cds, they won't pay for tickets to your live shows...  And really, a musician isn't in it for themselves.  I mean, yeah... it is satisfying to me to write a song and it makes me feel better just because I've gotten it out.  Still, when I have a chance to share it with someone just because I think they might get it, I jump at that.  And when they DO get it?  Ohhhh my goodness.  It's like winning the lottery every single time.  Just to hear someone say "Courtney, I LOOOOOOOVE that song.  You are so amazing."  It's enough to keep me going for months and months... because if just ONE person gets it, and you were lucky enough to find that one person, you have to believe that someone a lot further out there would get it too, if only you could get it to them... THAT is what music is about.  That's what entertaining is about.  It's not about you.  It's about everyone else. 

happy reading